Trends with Benefits
Let’s be honest here for a second; “Batman Arkham VR” is not the only reason you’re thinking about hooking up the PlayStationVR system to your PS4. When VHS came out, we used it to watch porn. We did the same thing with DVDs, Blu-Rays, our first iPhone and tablet computers and we’re going to do it again on our PlayStations. Humankind was scratching naked chicks onto the walls of limestone caves 13.000 years ago, and we sure as hell aren’t going to stop depicting boobs in the Space Age. Resistance is futile. Thankfully BadoinkVR has already taken that first giant leap for humanity by providing the necessary Virtual Reality smut. All you have to do now is figure out how to correctly set up your PSVR in order to turn your PlayStation into a PS “Plus.” And no, we’re not talking about Sony’s premium subscription service.
Everything you find on badoinkvr.com/videos will work flawlessly on the PSVR head-mounted display. Badoink has been developing and producing adult hardcore content on the cutting edge of technology for years, and they’re now fully embracing Sony’s PlayStation VR as yet another challenge to their technical prowess. Despite the undeniably dick-shaped and Fleshlight-sized Move motion controllers the PlayStation 4 wasn’t initially conceptualized as a porn delivery system and therefore requires you to clear a few hurdles as you attempt to turn your gaming console into a state of the art Wank-Box.
First turn on your beloved Mac or PC by whispering a few lines of dirty talk as you gently finger the mouse-wheel. Once you hear soft purring sounds coming from your computer as things start to heat up, insert a lubricated thumb-drive into one of its beckoning USB slots. Using just a lubricated thumb will not work. Format the stick to FAT or exFAT. At the girthy root of the throbbing USB stick’s file structure, create a folder called ‘VIDEO,’ and copy your filthy VR movie files into the virginal directory.
Install and Update Media Player on Your PS4
Navigate to the PS4’s PlayStation Store and download or update the Media Player to version 2.50 or higher. To find out which version you have currently installed, simply push the Options button when you’re hovering above the app and inspect the version history information. Once that has been accomplished, you can remove the USB drive from your computer and slide it into one of the PS4 ports. Open the Media Player application and navigate to the ‘VIDEO’ directory you set up a few minutes ago. Those porn videos will only play back as bog-standard 2D files at first, but once you hit the Options button again, you’ll be presented with the Control Panel. Choose VR Mode in the menu. It should go without saying that the PlayStation VR headset must be connected and switched on.
Shortcomings and Future Improvements
PSVR is currently only capable of handling monoscopic 360-degree videos which is a bummer. These days you can get adult videos in stereoscopic 3D, 360° or 180° fields of view, and in over-under or side-by-side alignments, unfortunately, the PlayStation 4 doesn’t support most of them. PSVR is somewhat antiquated in comparison to the Oculus Rift’s and HTC Vive’s media playback capabilities.
Hell will freeze over before Sony decides to officially endorse XXX pornography on its Playstation console but at least we’ve figured out a pretty decent workaround. Multiplayer enthusiast will rediscover the pleasures of offline single player as they liberate their neglected joy-sticks from their pants and vigorously fondle themselves tethered to a crucially upgraded gaming system. With an ever growing high-quality supply of VR porn, Badoink is right at the forefront of turning a thus far underwhelming family oriented toy into the number one adult entertainment experience of the coming year. Next stop: Playstation Cyber Dildonics. Are you taking notes, Sony? Seriously, there’s gotta be some Freudian sublimation going on with those phallic Move controllers, right? Once the range of PlayStation compatible VR porn offerings expands from girl/girl and boy/girl to dude-on-dude porn, it won’t be long before people start calling it the GayStation. It’s inevitable.