A lot of your female friends say that real life is nothing like the movies. "No, girls don't just sit in their bedrooms comparing underwear and getting frisky." Pfft. Well, we beg to differ. As an RA, you like to run a tight ship. And when you respond to a noise complaint of two girls "playing the penis game," you find Jill and Kiara in Room 32C butt-naked and belting out profanities. You know you should issue them a citations and walk away, but they're inviting you in, and you have a distinct lack of willpower. You have two options: Walk away. Or get your dick wet. Well, you might as well turn over your badge now.